The Wickedest Man in Nigeria By Jason Abaga
Since I was a little lad pulling little girls’ braids in Sunday School and making them cry, I’ve always wanted one thing, and one thing only: to be the wickedest man in Nigeria. Other children wanted to be doctors and pilots and teachers. Not I. I wanted to burn things down and deface posters. I wanted people to curse and revile me as I passed by. I wanted them to spit at the mention of my name. It has always been my purpose to be wicked, as I’ve said. So as soon as I was done with school and finished my NYSC, I set about looking for the most nefarious things and person to be. This was not easy, I assure you. All around me, the competition was stiff. There were more wicked people than I had imagined, all living in one country. I realized that in order to set myself out as truly wicked, truly mind horrifyingly ghastly, I would have to excel above my peers in a manner never before seen. I immediately set about my plan. At the ba...